Full Disclosure

Deciding that we should still go was just the beginning. We weren’t sure if we should disclose the pregnancy to the school, but after some advice from other teachers in Indonesia, we decided to tell the school. As pointed out by some veteran international teachers, the school’s reaction could provide insight as to whether or not it’s a school where we’d want to work. Fortunately for us, we received a really positive response. They will cover the visa, medical insurance and flights for the baby, which is great, but as we anticipated, we have to pay for medical costs related to the pregnancy and I'd have to take unpaid leave.

This was all fine with us and we were super happy that everything would work out, but then there were more complications. The school had difficulty finding someone to cover the period for my leave, so they wanted to find someone who can be in attendance on a more consistent level. I was offered to take a half-time position (of course at half the salary) that would make the unpaid leave feasible with the option to revert back to a full-time teaching position the following school year.

We were lucky that the school was willing to work with us, but this new development came with more complications. We had to re-evaluate the financial aspect of the whole situation. We wanted to make sure that we'll be able to cover the medical expenses out of pocket with me only earning half of what we planned minus the income from the unpaid leave. We also had to consider the financial responsibilities we have here at home as the school’s proposal would be more than a 75% pay cut in my income.

We understood that the school was scrambling to find last minute replacements because of the change in our situation, so we didn’t want to pull out of the contracts. We wanted to keep the commitment we made to them and who knows when we'll have another opportunity to find positions abroad or if we’d even want to after having the baby and settling down even more. However, we really need to think about how prepared we are to take such a financial hit especially when everything seems to be easier if we stayed to have our baby here (reliable covered medical care, and our family and support system in the US). On the other hand, the school has been so flexible and willing to accommodate us. Also, this is our first baby, so maybe I'd want a position with less pressure and more time to spend with the baby. As a new teacher, it may also be a good opportunity to do more observations of veteran teachers in an international setting. For the 2^nd time, we again decided to move forward and move to Indonesia.

“Should I stay—Or should I go?”

I suppose the pregnancy wasn’t a complete surprise—It’s not like we were trying or not trying for the past 3 years. I honestly just did not want to think about it. After all that Ate Marra went through, I wasn’t ready (and probably wouldn’t have ever been ready) to find out if I could get/stay pregnant or not. I did know that we were not getting any younger and that Dennis has been ready to be a father for quite some time even though he never pressured me to start a family.

We went over to Mark and Christina’s for dinner one night after our failed job search at UNI in early February. I jokingly said, “Screw it! If we’re not going abroad this year, we might as well have a baby.”

Mark seemed unfazed—being his calm, cool self—but it was one of those double-take moments for Dennis. His head did one of those mini-shakes, eyes wide and mouth open. “Are you serious?!?” He asked almost frantically. He didn’t even allow me to respond—“You can’t take it back!”

I think it was one of the happiest moments for Dennis, and even though part of me rationalized the statement with the fact that the likelihood of us going abroad was slim-to-none and the fact that at 37 and 32, Dennis and I probably couldn’t wait much longer, I knew how happy Dennis (and everyone) would be. I have to admit that I didn’t know how seriously Dennis would take it. From keeping track of my cycle to asking female colleagues about the best way to conceive a baby (boy), Dennis was all over the pregnancy thing.

He actually suspected that I was pregnant—I was a bit oblivious since we were in the middle of interviews and contract negotiations. Regardless of who thought what or when, one thing was certain: the whole going abroad to teach became much more complicated.

There were a lot of reasons for us to stay. I had a job that compensated well, a supportive manager and a pretty stable work environment even as a contractor. Dennis was well-liked and respected at Starbuck Middle School and had the luxury of having wonderful colleagues. We lived a comfortable lifestyle and could have easily upgraded our 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom condo to a larger home. We were also well-equipped to help my family with unforeseen challenges. We would have loved to be around all the kids in the family (Micailla, Paolo, Paulene, Acelle and Kobe—not to mention all of the other kids from extended family and friends). Most importantly, we would love to have our family around our baby.

Aside for missing family and friends, all of our reasons to stay played a role in our reasons to go. Had I been a permanent full-time employee instead of a contractor, or had it been possible for me to start teaching in the near future (not very likely with the deep cuts in education), maybe it would have been different. We’d be lying if we said that there were more reasons for us to go than for us to stay, or to imply that our reasons for going abroad were more compelling than our reasons to stay. Perhaps it was more selfish on our part, but we just felt that it was time and we didn’t know if this time would come again.

Unexpected News

As excited as we were with the offers, I wanted negotiate some parts of the contracts. The standard benefits for international teachers were included (accommodations, annual flights home and medical insurance); however, retirement contributions and shipping allowance were not included. I had never negotiated salaries or any other benefits in my life, and I was determined to at least give it a try. Dennis was not pleased. He wanted to sign the contracts the moment we received them. I, on the other hand, wanted to make sure that we negotiated the best contracts possible—all they could say was “no”, right?

I have to admit that the two weeks between my email attempting to negotiate the contract and the school’s response was awful. Most nights I couldn’t even sleep. When I did, I’d wake up every hour. It was torture, and the worst part was the contracts they offered far exceeded what we were prepared to accept. I was afraid that they would think I was being greedy for asking about retirement and shipping allowance, but in hind-sight considering everything else, I probably was being greedy. In my defense retirement and shipping allowance are standard for larger international schools; it just so happens that this was a small school that is fairly new. There was a part me that rationalized that I just wanted to try to negotiate, but there was a bigger part of me that was kicking myself in butt for insisting on negotiating. I’m pretty sure Dennis was mad at me—I was mad at myself—for potentially ruining our chances of finally going abroad.

I cannot express how relieved I was when the school responded. Granted, they basically said no to everything, but at least they didn’t withdraw their offer and I can’t say I didn’t try. Plus, we did get a one-time, shipping allowance for excess baggage. It was nothing spectacular, but it was better than nothing. We signed and sent the contracts on a Thursday. The following Tuesday we found we were pregnant.

First Stop: Jakarta, Indonesia

Why Jakarta, Indonesia?

This is probably the easiest question to answer: Because we were offered teaching jobs here. Had we been offered jobs in Dubai, Kosovo, China, Honduras or Bahrain, we probably would be in one of those countries instead. We interviewed with a school(s) in each of these countries at the 2011 UNI Overseas Recruiting Fair in February and came out empty-handed. This was our 2^nd time at UNI, and 2 years earlier in 2009 when Dennis had less teaching experience and I was not even certified, we had more interviews and almost landed jobs in Cairo, Egypt. It’s not to say that we were complete failures (some organizations were ready to hire us but couldn’t find positions in the same school or country), but we won’t deny that it was a bitter disappointment.

The optimist in us (or perhaps out of sheer desperation) applied to practically every school with opened positions in History/Social Studies and English/Language Arts. We found that there were limited schools that had openings for both. Maybe it was just wrong timing, the fact that more teachers are becoming aware of the opportunities abroad, or the deep cuts in education which left many qualified and experienced teachers seeking jobs abroad—whatever it was, we almost lost all hope that 2011 was the year for us.

Long story short, we got lucky—and by that we mean VERY lucky. We found a small school in Indonesia that offered us contracts that were more attractive than some of the contracts we were willing to sign back at UNI in February. On top of that, the school’s mission of holistic education matched our education philosophies, and our interactions will the school were very positive. It seemed like a perfect fit.

Dreaming

Dennis and I knew and always dreamed that we’d live abroad someday—not Jakarta, Indonesia specifically, but somewhere, (almost) anywhere they’ll take us. We’ve been preparing for over 5 years, but regardless of how much planning or money we managed to save, life seems to have something else in store for us.