"Cheap" _ _ _ _ _

There’s a Canadian pizza place called Gian on the ground level of our apartment building. It’s convenient, and we figured it’d be at least hot and safe. Dennis decided to order in person hoping to alleviate the language barrier.

“Name?”

“Dennis.”

She writes: “T-E-N-I-S”.

“No, no… Dennis with a ‘D.’”

She crosses out the “T” and writes a “P”. She slowly looks up at Dennis trying to hold back giggles.

“No, NO! ‘D’! ‘D’ as in ‘dog!’”

We were still laughing about it when the delivery boy came. Dennis thanks him and hands him a tip. The delivery boy looks at the note half shaking his head and turns away without saying a word.

“How much did you tip him?”

“A thousand [rupiah].”

“You do realize that you literally just gave him an 8 cent tip?”

“No,” Dennis is mortified. “Are you serious? I just thought it was a thousand—seemed like a lot to me…”

 
I couldn’t stop laughing. “I bet they’re talking about you right now. He probably he expected a fat tip from the American, but all he got was a thousand rupiah. They’re probably calling you ‘CHEAP PENIS!’”